Sunday, November 9, 2008

Little Letters From Mikey

Dear Wifey, 
You're practicing the piano right now.  I'm so proud of how hard you're trying to get done with school.  Keep it up.  Please don't procrastinate your essay much longer!
Love, Hubby

Dear Snowbirds,
I've noticed you've returned.  Please go the speed limit.
Sincerely, Late4Something

Dear Self,
How is it that you had a 3 day weekend and still haven't really done anything?
Sincerely, Times-A-Wastin'

Dear Christmas,
I think that this year will be meager for many... I hope that this helps us to focus on what's really important.  I think we will buy a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree from Walgreens this year to remind us that it's not the things that matter.  That should prove a point.  I look forward to you.
Sincerely, IronicConsumption

Dear Foreclosee,
I appreciate how you purchased many upgrades for the home we're going to buy.  But sometimes I feel like we're stealing the American Dream from you.  Until I remember that you sold all of the appliances.
Thank you, WhatWasYoursIsAlmostMine

Dear Laundry,
Why do you torment us so?  One day we're done with you, then you sneak up on us until you've consumed all of our clean clothing.  I try to beat you by wearing the same pants for almost a whole week, but then you change tactics and go after the whites.  You rascal.
Sincerely, YouStink

Dear Mac,
I want you.  I need you.  Why will you not let Netflix play movies through your OS X?  It's breaking my heart.
Sincerely, StuckWithDell

Dear California,
Your rallies are large and impressive.  But you forget that your chance to speak was on November 4.  Please stop harassing others who used democratic means to express their opinions.
Sincerely, SilentMajorityMember

Dear Appliance Manufacturers,
You make expensive stuff.  I'll be watching Craigslist for black appliances, hoping to not need to buy your stuff new.  But if we do need to buy stuff new, it will be after Thanksgiving.  That should boost your Q4 profits.
Sincerely, MoneyIsExpensive

Dear Netflix,
I am very happy that you added like 1000 new movies on the instant playable movie list through Starz.  I've already selected the 30-40 that I like.  Please add thousands more.
Sincerely, NoPopcornNeeded

Dear Blogspot Bloggers,
I covet your blog comments.  I tried to leave some on your blogs so that you'll try to return the favor. It's hard to comment.  You don't want to say what everybody else said, but you don't want to be weird.  And you certainly don't want to leave a comment more than a week after the blog entry, or you risk being never read.
Sincerely, Blogstalker

Dear Monday,
I have a case of the yous.  And it's still Sunday.  I hope you're happy.
Sincerely, MyCubicleAwaits

5 comments:

Missy said...

LOL! Those are hilarious:) It's great to have some humor to start off my Monday.

Beka said...

Dear H & M

You make me laugh

Yours Truly
Beka L

Shellee said...

Dear Rockband Player,
I will beat you one of these days if I could just make it over to your house. You are dealing with life in a Rockband kind of way... if you don't really get into it and play your hardest, you won't get any better.

From: Someone who wishes for Rock Band (and a "real house" cause we have the "home" part taken care of)

Laurie said...

Hahahaha... I wandered onto your blog from another (gasp) ward member's, and ... HOLY MOSES, you guys are hilarious! I'm gonna bookmark you, I really am. The letters made me laugh and the political talk made me think - both of which made my day. :)

Keith and Sarah said...

this is hilarious...i'm sitting in my photo class and laughing so hard...great job... write more soon please..